Empty arms...

I would run back to the cross, 
and

  one by one
gather

them in my arms.

Hurts.
Whys.
Rejection.
The feeling of being a failure,
 of being a loser.
A nothing.
Words others said to me.
Things others did to me.

I'd balance them so carefully.
A foot at a time 
Try and take a step.
Everything would come tumbling down.
I would struggle.
I was frustrated that I kept
gathering all that I gave to God.

Wondering
 why I couldn't move forward
without stumbling.

I wanted to move forward.
I didn't want to keep doing this in my life anymore.

God  whispered to me, 

My child why do you keep gathering all

that was never intended for you to

carry?

Your arms, 
are empty.

You need to fill your arms.

Fill them with
love for others, 
serving,
praying and gratitude.

It took me a long time to 
understand that

 God 
didn't intend for me
to stay there all my life.
  At the cross grieving.

It was good that I gave God 
all my hurts,
the pain.
That I ran to Him, 
but I also needed to
fill those arms of mine.
When your arms are empty you feel naked.
 What am I to do now??
Arms need to hold onto something.

****

We all have faced rejection.
Hurts.
Words that sting.
We have all been there
laying those things at our Father's feet
just to run back and carry them ourselves.
Again.
The next couple of Thursday's
I will share
 how God 
taught me to 
fill my arms
so I could
  move forward.
I am no expert so I am asking you 
to join me.
 Add your thoughts and what God has taught you,
 in the comments below.
Let's us remember to be kind. 
 Some of us still wear long sleeved shirts
so others can't see the bandaids covering our wounds.